There are a lot of things I am guilty of. For instance, I’m guilty of just enjoying the breeze of my life without considering possible consequences of my ever procrastination. I am also guilty of not being able to tell the truth. I am also guilty of planning things ahead of my God. Selfishness, and lack of reconciliation, taking things for granted and not getting to refocus are just a few.

Truth is my sins are not less than yours, no matter how petty they seem to be. Christianity isn’t a breeze and that I can say with conviction - especially if you’re supposed to be a leader. When people look up to, you got to breathe and live that persona in and outside of the community or your church. That is why I’m scared to take certain responsibilities coz I know I have to go to a level of extreme faith. Sometimes it feels that it’s not that I can’t do it or I’m not ready – But here it goes… I don’t want it. Yikes!

I know there’s a big plan ahead. Maybe I’ll realize it sooner or later but for now, I will still forever praise You in the ways I know how.

Apir!

Today’s one of those Mondays where I thought about refocusing on writing, amongst other things (I don’t understand myself why it had to be a Monday to begin with. Moving on…) Come to think of it, I haven’t written anything significant lately. Unless you can consider recent gift cards I gave out to celebrants who are dear to me. Since I’ve been reading You Have the Power to Create Love by Bo Sanchez and I think it’s about time I get to mend my separation from this journal once more. That Bo can really get you thinking!

This entry isn’t a book review rather it you can consider it as a “A Note to Myself: Re-Evaluate Your Life Silly!”

The ones that drive me crazy...
I think I’ve been missing opportunities of “wala lang” moments and kwentuhans with my parents. Whenever I have enough money to take them out to a restaurant, that’s when I try to make up for my absence at home. Lately, money seemed to have a low supply. Either that, or it’s taking it’s time before getting to my wallet! Darn it money, move your ass! Haha. So I don’t get to treat my family out as much I want to. Quality time though is what they need more than anything. I do miss being at home doing absolutely nothing but be at home.

Some friends I thought I disliked...
One instance is that I really miss someone I used to hangout with ALL the time. Detaching myself from him was a remedy to avoid disappointments coz it felt like he gave me more disappointments than I deserve. But when I heard about his dad’s unhealthy condition, one of the gazelion things he’s going through, I said to myself: Time out, It’s not all about ME. Get a grip!

Conversations with my first love...
I always pray for certain things to happen. What can I say, I couldn’t help it! Why would I pray for something that’s not going to go my way? But a real prayer, or the only prayer I should be praying is “Father Your will be done.” For His ways may not be mine but between me and the Creator of the universe… I think we all know who knows best.

Me and my petty ramblings...
Bo said humans suffer comparisonitis. People always find ways to complain about their lives because they always compare themselves to others. The best advice he gave is – stop comparing and start living! Repeat… stop comparing and start living!

The sound of music...
Performing on stage feels great and singing and playing in worship feels right. I’m just thankful I can do both. So with that being said, me to self “Mag-ensayo ka!”

It's a job...
Strangeness, never anticipated to have second thoughts about this again. This one I have to really think about some more.

So let's decide on a progress chart shall we? Let's not wish for it to happen, but let's DECIDE on it.

Cheers!

Let me spell out to you what this year is supposed to be about according to people: L-O-V-E. Yup! There are weddings everywhere and a lot of children are about to be born. They say it’s the best year to celebrate this gift and share it to everyone. I might just dwell on this sooner or later but most likely later. ;)

In the mean time, let’s catch up on my ramblings and learnings early this year:

(1) The good old and new times: One prayer that stood out the most in my 2007 list is being given another chance. I’m talking about friendships. Lately, my college barkada has been reunited. Too bad that Kimie’s in the U.S. so we’re not that complete. But after gigs, birthdays, a wedding and a baptism on the way, there’s really a lot of hanging out to look forward to this year. Cheers!

(2) Lineage Addiction: I can’t stop playing and thinking about this game. I don’t believe I’m about to say it, but yes… it’s already part of my life. Dog nab it, “I have to level up.”

(3) In service: God knows how much screwed up my service was in the latter part of the year! That’s why we’re making it up this year. It took something horrible to make me pray a real prayer. It was just yesterday that I almost lost a close friend of mine in the community. Talk about my limited faith, I was terrified. But at the end of the day, God provided and once again He never failed me.

(4) Family: The kids are growing up fast and my parents aren’t getting any younger. And you know what, the more they age… the more fun I have hanging out with them. It takes a lot of understanding these people just to get along - but it’s definitely worth it.


So the theme for this year is LOVE. Let’s see how this one goes. =)

This entry has been in my drafts for a while. The Christmas stress got the best out of my blogging schedule. Teehee. I just had to read and write until this was ready for posting. So here it goes.

November

I would like to emphasize in this entry that it’s not the place that will make your trip worthwhile – rather, it’s the people you’re with. 5 days of non-stop laughs and believe it or not, travel and life lessons rolled up to one out of the country adventure. Attendees were:

(1) Carla: Her role was more than an economist on this trip. I don’t know how we could’ve survived the trip without her – a responsible pseudo mommy of the flock. She’s a good photo to take too – humor me Carla. Ü



(2) Francis: The pseudo daddy. I discovered that being a nice person doesn’t necessarily mean you can’t be intimidating especially if you’re protecting people you care about. In the case of Francis, he was taking care of 5 girls… imagine handling that for almost a week! And like Carla, he humors me with those photos too.

\

(3) Rhoda: God knows what could have happened to us if we didn’t have our personal stewardess on board. The “traveling-out-of-the-country” expert came very handy to us all. But who says an expert can’t learn a few more tricks on the road – especially in Singapore! Hehe. Ü



(4) Kare: Little miss curly missy got her passport just to be on this trip. Now that’s wanting it! Who wouldn’t love a first-time traveler along? She appreciates everything and takes each step and misstep of ours as a learning curve. No wonder she’s a good business woman, if she has the patience for us… she can handle anything. Ü



(5) Sheena: Since it was her first time to meet the gang, I have to give her credit for handling us. But I have to give more credit to the gang for handling her. Hehe. I’m so happy she tagged along – she’s one of my best imitators!



(6) Me: Making them laugh by making a fool out of myself and calming down situations of horror – I think these are the best things i can say about me on this trip. Ü



I’d have to summarize this trip or else this entry will take forever! So here it goes:

MANILA: Flight was delayed for 3 freaking hours! But like anything olats, we had fun with it.



MALAYSIA DAY 1:
- Kuala Lumpur Malaysia: Airport - we arrived around 4 AM. Breakfast has never been so exciting. We went straight to Mc Donald's. Mas masarap ang tinapay nila. Hehe.
- RED PALM: The best hostel to stay in! Too bad for us that the place was fully booked for the rest of our stay. We only had the luxury of an overnight at Sophie's. By the way... Sophie rocks! Visit: http://www.redpalm-kl.com
- Walking down the JALANS! Of course we had to explore the streets of KL with a walkathon starting with Jalan Bukit Bintang. Day off na day off!
- Pavillion: Talk about high scale malls! We had little cash but LOTS of cameras so ... =)
- Noodle and Dimsum House: After hours of walking, we thought "Kelangan bawiin sa carbs." Good thing we found this place though we recommend that you guys try out the food courts of the malls first - much cheaper!
- Turkish Ice Cream: We heard this guy banging his bell. It definitely caught our attention to try some ice cream. He scared me.
- China Town: The best meal and bargain deals for souvenirs came from this place. Tip: In spite the hundreds of stalls, look for Smith. He will give you the biggest discounts.



MALAYSIA DAY 2:
- Curry is served best during breakfast! Before going to Genting Highlands, all of us had curry for breakfast. Carla and Francis woke up earlier to go to India Town while we ate at Foodball Junction just beside Red Palm. Saying goodbye to Red Palm and Sophie can be very hard.
- On our way to Genting, we met Mrs. Thilaga, you can actually make friends on the bus. Hi Mrs. Thilaga!
- On board the cable car, I understood why they called it Genting “Highlands.” We we’re in the clouds. But don’t worry, you can survive the longest cable car ride in the world and live to tell about it.
- We stayed at the First World Hotel. The hotel with the most rooms in the planet can make a group of people organize a very small space. The rooms we’re small but it was comfortable enough.
- We rode the open rides (they shut down some ride coz of the heavy fog and rain). At least we we’re able to ride the roller coaster. We made a discovery though - Francis is a really good guy... but he won't take crap from anyone and anything (like annoying Korean kids and roller coasters).
- Photos taken… let’s just say jumping shots bring out the best in people. Hey, fun can come out of boredom.



MALAYSIA DAY 3
- Take advantage of the Genting buffet breakfast! I’ve never seen so much food during breakfast. I’ve been to a lot of hotels but no breakfast is served as massive as First World’s. And if you’d like to know how to properly eat an orange, ask Rhoda – not me.
- We wanted to check out the indoor theme park before we left. Rhoda, Carla and Francis tried the Ven Helsing ride while Sheena, Kare and I wanted to “Skydive.” Lesson learned: Reserve a slot for the skydiving simulator online! The simulator was booked ‘til the next day. Boo.
- We found this resto junction on the street a few minutes away from our hotel, Novetel. Always be open to what you can find on the street. It might be the best fried rice you'll taste in Asia.
- Go to Petronas in the evening and gave fun with your cameras especially if it involves two bling-bling towers. Lie down if you have to! =)



MALAYSIA DAY 4

I can’t go bullet on this one since it’s a nice story to tell. Read on:

Day 4 was a split. Carla and Francis went to Batu Caves while the rest of us went to Singapore.

Singapore literally looked like a fashion show especially at Orchard. We even met kapwa Pinoys along the way and got a free tour on a double deck bus! The way to Merlion wasn't that bad either. It was all fun until the time when our train for KL left us - that was 10 PM already. Remember this, the arrival station may not be the departure station! Ending up in a low-cost train station in the middle of the night with shortage of Dollars in our pockets, my heart rate started to speed up.

By this time, Rhoda was crying, Kare wasn't talking, and Sheena was calling her boyfriend back in the Phil to rant.

Me... "Lalala." I took a deep breath and approached people who don't speak English. Olats talaga! I even looked around to get the feel of the place if it was even safe to talk to anyone. Haha. Paranoid. Good thing I found two people who could understand me.

The blessing: A Muslim cab driver by the name of Dzul Nordin didn't leave us until we got a bus back to KL. Knowing that we didn't have enough money, he insisted that we don't pay him instead, in verbatim he says "Just pay it forward to someone else." We won't forget you Dzul. Thank you!






MALAYSIA DAY 5

Our last day in KL had to matter. Reverse bungee jumping was on my list but again (like all the other things I wanted to do in Malaysia!) hindi natuloy coz their equipment was transferred to another location because of an event. Boo.

This made Sheena a brat. Haha. So sad naman kasi talaga. Carla and I just made the best out of it by climbing and jumping off the KL Tower - sort of. =)

This was also the day we met Kuya Gilbert, fellow Filipino who hasn't talked to a kababayan for a long time. He came right on time because we were all short of cash! Hindi namin siya inutangan ah! Kuya Gilbert treated us to dinner before we headed to the airport. Blessing again.




That sums up the trip. A highlight for 2007! Yipee! Please visit http://pabsygirl.multiply.com for photos!

I’ve been off track with my spiritual life for quite sometime now. One of those spiritual dryness chapters as they say. Still, I’m very happy with my life but there are a lot of fears that have grown. Funny how the things you were sure of before are have become uncertain --- oh. On second thought, it's me who's suddenly unsure.

Most of the time I just want to shoot myself for letting my fears conquer my faith. I think I need to take a step back, or maybe a step forward.

Here we go.

Ate lunch with graphic artist extra ordinaire Joel at around 1 PM today. Falala… Had a great lunch with Skyline’s sizzling boneless chicken. Whoopee! By now, everyone who knows me has an idea of my eating habits – eating every now and then. So 5 hours later Mr. Shi takes this bag of our favorite chips to our table. I thought I had to take my retainers off before nibbling on these cheezy goodies.

Not more than a minute I realized, I’m not wearing my retainers at all! Flashback the lunch. Dang! Left it at the canteen wrapped in tissue. Panicked and laughing away, not realizing I announced it to the whole area that my precious teeth masters are lost. Ergo, laughs.

Mr. Shi and I rushed down to the canteen with hope of finding my beloved ones. Thoughts were “I can’t afford losing them… literally I can’t afford.” I can't have little faith! No you weakling! So off we go to the waiters asking about the little ones. Alast! One of them saw and kept them! Reaching up towards the haven (on top of the cabinet of glasses - exposed) they weren’t there. I was crushed.

But wait, there was hope. A young gentleman had the urge to search underneath the cold, metallic surface. He went down on his knees and reached out towards the dirty filth of the floor. And there they were…

The weirdest things happen to me and when they do, I’m ecstatic! Last night I saw my friend Stef at Coffeabeary in our village. Stef has always been an inspiration to my faith and relationship with God. I read his blogs all the time! Seeing him at that coffee shop was so cool. Here’s how our conversation went:

Me: Stef!
Stef: Pabsy! You live here? I just moved here, with Mish.
Me: Oh?
Stef: At Goldstone.
Me: Weh… that’s where I live.
Stef: #14
Me: Weh!!! I live right beside you!
Stef: I can see your window!
Me and Stef: This is so weird.

Yup! I have new neighbors and they’re the couple I have an “awe” factor for. Stef told me to come over their house, maybe to catch up on things and to see how his married life with his beautiful wife Mish is going. I’m psyched! Yey!

Like I said, the weirdest things happen to me. Most of the time, I say to God “Lord, these things don’t happen in real life but You make them happen. Thanks.” God gives me situations that make way for an extra kick of adventure. One thing I also realized is that God is the best writer. You know how the best storytellers take you off your seat because you can never anticipate what happens next? That’s how I feel as God writes the story of my life. There are many surprises that He inserts and many more characters that He seem to put to make the story more interesting.

So now I wait for what part my new neighbors will play in my life. I think this is going to be fun.

It’s been a while since my last post. I’ve been going trough some very random things lately: Many firsts, addiction to Lineage II and, frustrations, getting sick, new friends, shoots, tears and laughs. Good thing the latter out weighs the negatives. The learning for me, life can’t really be perfect, you just got to ride through it.

I do have to get back on track with my bible reading though. Dang! Note to self… do not procrastinate!

When it comes to other people, I’m happy to think that things are going well especially for the ones I care about. It’s good to know that they’re seeing the light. Yipee. And my friendships with some special people are starting to look pretty well. Miracles happen each day and thank you God indeed.

Upcoming event is the SFC sports fest. Oh! It’s this Sunday… here we go! I got myself into something simply because I love my chapter heads. LOL. I’ll be writing more about it soon. The month of September really is something. But come next month, a lot of birthdays and soon enough Malaysia is on the calendar. The fact is, I still have a long way to go with that pocket money I’m supposed to have by then. Need extra cash – badly.

Cheers for whatever tomorrow brings but I’d still like to celebrate for the now.

especially this one. LOL! hey, i'm just looking for something to smile about here. =)



Zac Efron

I don’t know what’s up. Am I just paranoid, sad or feeling less important nowadays. The one thing I don’t like to have is… DOUBT. Daaarn. I want my faith baaaaaaack!

Today wasn’t so bad compared to a crappy evening last night. The shoot was a good boost of energy. And yes, it was a shoot with what other people claim to be my twin sister in showbiz – IWA MOTTO. She was really nice and to be honest I was pleasantly surprised. Now I can say I’ve worked with her and it was sincerely fun. Along with her best friend Chuck Allie, we had gallons of laughs. I’ve always believed that I don’t look like her… but then again…







Do check out the past chats (Marian Rivera & Dingdong Dantes; Katrina Halili & Ehra Madrigal; Yasmien Kurdi & JC De Vera; Mark Herras & Ryza Cenon; Marky Cielo & Glaiza de Castro; Iza Calzado & Sunshine Cruz; and my personal favorite for their extreme sense of humor Alessandra de Rossi & Polo Ravales; and many more!) visit www.igma.tv and click on videos.

This made me laugh today. A reaction to the other network's constant barrage over a very well marketed transfer of an ex-kapuso artist. Not only did the writer counter attack the remark made, he lightly pointed out the art of teasing likewise making a strong highlight on a recent cheating of a game show. Brava!

Thank you Sir Joey. Oo nga naman. LOL. =)



Manila Bulletin
Joey de Leon

‘Transfer-Mers’


A little more than a week ago, I read somewhere in this paper that someone in the Kapamilya network remarked that, "Ang kapamilya hindi napapalitan, pero ang puso pwedeng i-transplant," – obviously referring to the well-publicized and quite controversial transfer of a former known kapuso to their side. Well, maybe I thought, they even got an ovation for that statement from their audience and followers. And maybe too, the person who thought of it found the idea cute and brilliant. Hmmm… but you know, throughout history, there have been lines spoken, and even by the greatest of men, which when carefully examined closely, are silly and untrue. Take for instance — "You can’t have your cake and eat it, too." And, "the best things in life are free." Not quite true, right? ‘Yung first one pwede siguro if you’re a big star in television and you have a lot of what you call in the business – exchange deals.

Or you’re a young goddess of a woman and you have a filthy rich provider who is like a faucet – hot and cold. But all these have a ‘kapalit," kaya nga exchange deal eh. In the first one, the big star will have to plug always. And in the second one, the sexy goddess will always be plugged.

Transferring networks, or even working for some of these TV stations at the same time ("grossing the net" or "inter-networking"), is not new to me. Remember, I belong to the only daily show in Philippine TV history, or maybe the world, which have aired in three different major networks; surviving and outlasting five presidents… and still counting! Yes, we are the KONTOT (Kings Of Network Transfers On Television)! We are the Transfermers!

That is why this issue about this angel from heaven, I mean seven, who transferred to you know where, is the least of anxieties. I really just find their statement so untrue and unfair, and I feel I need to react (and besides, wala akong article for this week). O, eto na – tatagalugin ko na para mas may dating at may diin. At saka tutal Tagalog din naman ‘yung binitiwang mga salita eh. Ready?

Maganda lang siguro pakinggan ‘yung mga sinabi n’yo, pero ikinalulungkot ko, mali eh. Para bang isang babaeng nagparetoke – mukha lang maganda, pero hindi totoo.

Una, pwede bang magharap kayo sa akin ng tao na nagpa-transplant ng puso na nagtagal ang buhay?! Pwede talaga, pero pwede bang magtagal?

Pangalawa, lalo na sa panahon ngayon, ang daling magpalit ng pamilya ng mga tao. ‘Yung iba nga may pamilya dito, may pamilya duon eh. Sa showbiz na lang – ilan sa inyo at sa atin ang nagpalit na ng pamilya?

Sa totoo lang, ito ang mas tumpak – ang puso natin ay mahirap palitan, pero ang pamilya pwede – at pwede pang dagdagan.

At eto pa ang isang dumadagundong na katotohanan – pwede tayong mabuhay nang walang pamilya, pero hindi tayo pwedeng mabuhay ng walang puso.

Alam nyo, may art din ‘yung pagsundot at patama. But naturally, all these are "tuksuhan lang." Tayong lahat ay may mga pinagsamahan. Magkikita at maaring magkasama rin tayo balang araw. Kaya, walang pikunan. Paliwanagan lang. Biruan lang. Teasing is not bad. Cheating is… on TV!

Dang those nights where you get in touch with your feelings! It sucks. I am idealistic. Yes, yes I am. Is it a curse or a blessing? When things get tough I always tell myself to just shut out all those sad thoughts passing through my head and move on to a happy place in my brain. It helps me most of the time. However, psyching up doesn’t really change the fact that I’m not all right. A decision not to speak about something good - It’s starting to sting.

For now I'll just get back to my remedy. Think happy thoughts, pray, hope. To shake it off… I just took a celebrity test to entertain myself. At least this one actually tells me AND the world I'm someone.





Your celeb match is Jake Gyllenhaal


Obviously, a cutie like you is paired with sweet and adorable Jake Gyllenhaal.

You're tight with your best buds and always willing to lend a hand when someone needs it, whether it's taking a long bike ride, moving to a new home, or mending a broken heart. You can't help it — you're a great friend. And your date should be too. Now that's lovely & amazing!

In life you can make your own decisions or let other people make those decisions for you. Being Above The Influence is about staying true to yourself, and not letting people pressure you into being less than you. So be yourself. Or be something less. It's your call.

The Celebrity Matchmaker

Brought to you by Tickle

yes... it's official, i'm a gamer.

the goal is to have a UPD port here in the office or a laptop at home. or maybe it should be a UPD port AND a laptop. that is if by some miracle i could have some cash in my hands right now.

this isn't one of those immediate attention getters (like certain financial needs to be taken cared of first) but... shucks... it's addicting. i'm in trouble. yikes.

LINEAGE II

I met Justin in GK 1 MB last April. He became one of my teammates in the mission. He would have turned 21 years old last July 17, 40 days after he was tragically killed by a thief who entered his family's home. He was an incoming 4th year seminarian at St. Paul Seminary Foundation, the formation house of the Society of St. Paul.

I am happy to share with you his last journal entry. It was about the GK mission we were both part of. Thank you for this Just. Ü



GK - God Knows we will Succeed
By: Justin Daniel Y. Bataclan (April 24, 2007)

One of the major obstacles of all initial plans and projects is skepticism. There will always be this nuisance or an individual or a small group who would find it all too difficult to believe; to have faith in the plan or the project. But with strong determination and courage to take a risk, plans become realities and projects meet their aims. I pray with bended knees and hope with all my hope that Gawad Kalinga would be such a project.

GK, or Gawad Kalinga, is far from achieving their goal but with the help of all of us Filipinos or even just a fraction of us, it could rebuild our nation and totally eradicate poverty. This is a very novel aim but some would still find it hard to believe. Even the beneficiaries would find ways to go back to the life that they were used to: poverty. But workers of Gawad Kalinga believe. And now I am one of them.

"Ambitious, way too ambitious." This were the first words that I uttered when I first heard of Gawad Kalinga, a project spearheaded by CFC (Couples for Christ). Rebuilding the nation in seven years; putting up free homes for the poor would not solve our problem. There would still be corruption and all those other sort of misdemeanors that would impede our progress as a nation. But as my classmate Albert, who's brother-in-law is a full time worker in Gawad Kalinga, further explained to us how GK works, I realized how feasible this project is.

GK communities do not end on building houses, there are livelihood programs (some communities have farms, produces handicrafts, have fishing ponds and other means for livelihood), they have schools for the kids (where volunteers would care and teach the children in school), health centers and other programs that would ensure that each community runs well. GK does not leave a community right after completing building the target number of homes. These are only concrete programs, I know. But as Tony Meloto describes - having this different idea that poverty is a mentality rather than a situation - GK provides values programs. This program basically tries to instill in each member of the GK community that he/she deserves to be lifted up from poverty, the he/she deserves a better life. The problem with Filipinos, according to Meloto, is that they are so used to poverty that they seek it even though they have escaped from it already. Poor people usually throw away what they have earned. This is a fact.

The explanation of my classmate about Gawad Kalinga was brought about by our oral finals exam in our class in Social Philosophy. He was trying to extract and expose the ideals that Gawad Kalinga has. I was intrigued, maybe even flared to know more about Gawad Kalinga because of his presentation. So when my classmate shared that Gawak Kalinga would start a community in Marinduque and they were looking for people who would help, I immediately volunteered myself (even though I have no idea as to where I would get my finances to go there). I have no faint idea as to what it would be like, who would be with us, how we would eat and sleep and what awaits us in Marinduque. But my curiosity got the better of me. After all, this is my last summer break as a college student. I should not let opportunities like pass.

Our mission in Marinduque is so far my best experience this summer break. Not to mention the new friends that I have made (we had Singles for Christ members in our team of 20 young men and women), I still, even if two weeks have passed, am very ecstatic about the whole thing. Even though after exhaustive days of building roof, mixing cement, finishing walls and carrying bags of whatever it is that is needed to be carried, I still feel overly rejuvenated. Even though after I came home unrecognizably dark after working hours under the scorching sun, I still feel so presentable. Even though we had to set up camp and camp like boy scouts, I still found the place more convenient than staying at home with all these electronics surrounding me. Nothing could be compared with this one of a kind experience. And given another chance to help in GK projects, I would not hesitate to drop what I am doing and I would set out for another mission. Truth to be told, being a full time Gawad Kalinga worker has actually crossed my mind.

I realized how addictive it could be to help others. Having a deeper glimpse of reality and living the other side of seminary life and middle class lifestyle, I was undoubtedly bothered; Disturbed even. I want to reach out and the flame keeps burning with in me. I am a skeptic no more. I believe. I hope. And I act.

GK 1MB -Gawad Kalinga Isang Milyong Bayani. This was what they call their present project. It so simple to become a hero, according to them. And I now know that it feels anything but simple to be one.

I should know, I am a bayani!

And I do hope that a million or even more would also become one. A week of leaving work, problems and other worldly concerns in exchange to become a hero and volunteer for Gawad Kalinga is worthwhile; so fulfilling.

God Knows GK will succeed.

Your movie star double is Cameron Diaz

A joker like you needs to be played by someone charming, someone who isn't afraid to get a little silly — but someone who always knows the difference between being outrageous and being obnoxious. That's why Cameron Diaz would be perfect for the part. With her dazzling smile, addictive laugh, and great comedic timing, people would immediately identify with the lighthearted fun you bring to this world. Like Cameron, you love laughing — and making other people laugh, too.

Back in school, were you the one making prank phone calls or organizing spoofs of all the teachers? Sure you've matured at least a little bit since then, but you've still probably got that 14-carat sense of humor. Because of that, you're probably the center of attention at parties, as friends gather to hear you making a mockery of everything from current events to the computer-illiterate idiot who sits next to you at work. You, like Cameron, don't want to take life too seriously, and that's what will shine through if Cameron plays you in the movie of your life.

In life you can make your own decisions or let other people make those decisions for you. Being Above The Influence is about staying true to yourself, and not letting people pressure you into being less than you. So be yourself. Or be something less. It's your call.

Who's Your Movie Star Double?
Brought to you by Tickle

The past week wasn’t so good. Dang that week! Most of the time when you’re about to do a great thing, that’s when the challenges come in. Satan is at work all right. He delayed me by making me doubt the one thing that makes me happy. Truly it sucks. My family is important to me so that’s where the attack began. From doing God’s work to doubting it is a major plunge of mood. Certain fears started to arise --- losing people I love, losing my direction in life that I’ve supposedly decided on a long time ago, and most of all, losing my belief on something I felt was so right. I never want to feel that I’m lost again.

Recovery took a while but there’s room to mend everything. There are things that I wish I’d be free to do but for now I have to prepare my loved ones on the process. It’s really not easy to let go of certain things for most traditional people.

I’m about to give a talk this weekend about loving God. Long before the crappy past week, I thought I’ll be equipped enough to handle such responsibility. Then crap happened so I was hesitant to even pursue it. And to be honest, I never thought that persuading myself to read the bible would help me out. I testify that the answers were given to me by praying and reading the scriptures. This is coming from a beginner because I was never a fan of the bible. Surprisingly, I’m enjoying the “word” because of this bible reading plan I got from the web. Besides that, I also got a book called “Catechism for Filipino Catholics” to better understand what the heck we’re doing! LOL. What is happening to me? I’m turning to my nerdy self but this time my interest of study is on a different matter.

Speaking of nerds… my best friend Jer (one of the major nerds I know) introduced me to an MMORPG game – LINEAGE II. Dog-nab-it that I couldn’t play here in the office, how else could I level up? Weekends then!

I need you here...I need you here..
you're like the rain that falls
fall on this heart and make me new

I look to you...I look to you....
you're king king above the earth...
and you have put heaven in my heart...

I only want to bwe where you are....

holy,holy is the Lord king of glory..
forever saviour of the world...

though mountains may be moved...
and fall into the raging seas...
you'll never let me fall....
you hold me in your nail-scared hands

It’s a fact that numerous things can happen in several days but I never anticipated that what I thought was good news was subject to question to some. It’s not a coincidence that the calling to lead had come so clear to me during a conference in Bataan. It was a bitter sweet feeling because even if I know that the calling came from above, sacrifices would be made. I didn’t know that these things were hurting others around me.

More than that, an innocent attempt to enjoy my mid-twenties had come to terms of what some loved ones might call "disobedience" leaving a room for question about me being a good Christian.

Funny how sometimes we think that once we found what makes us happy that’s it. I guess life isn’t that simple after all. I’d like to believe that this is a phase I have to go through for His plan to reveal itself to me. But it’s hard, I need help.

i just had a thought. dang.

Lord, let's move on.

these past couple of days have been tough in terms of things to accomplish. weekends are definite breathers! i spent the recent weekends with old and new friends - fun! and i've been trying out something very new to my system and that's alcohol intake - in the smallest portions but heck i gotta start somewhere.

i'm still on the max of half a glass of whatever then i'm done. i get sleepy and that's the chill i needed for the past weeks, a good night's rest. so 'til the next friday madness ... that good kick i'm looking forward to again.

this LONG WEEK aint over yet. =p whoopee!